This is Me

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where im supposed to be now
Let the light shine one me
Now I found, who I am
Theres no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me
(demi lavato ~ This is Me)

I know its a cheezy song from a Disney movie but this is how I feel right now. My photography is starting to pick up. I gained two new clients this week due to pictures I've done for family and close friends. I don't know how to explain how happy I am right now about this. I'm getting my DH to start to take more than just a passing interest in my photography. Even though he does see the un-edited shots, he's still my biggest fan. Gets on to me for doing something that doesn't quite look normal to him and even shot in manual mode too. He always changes it to Auto mode. Its where he's more comfortable. If he keeps this up when we upgrade he might get to be my second shooter at weddings. So lets keep our fingers crossed. I ran into some of my old teachers from HS today. Man was that kind of weird. They were all like I knew you would make a go of something. I'm proud of you. A mother of five kids four of which are under four and a photographer to boot. You must be spinning. And ya know I kind of. I don't think it set in until today just how busy my life has gotten. I've really just recently given this photograpy thing a real go for others than just myself. My grandfather was telling me about how in 1948 he went to a wedding for someone on his side of the family and they asked him to shoot their wedding. Of course he said yes he would. And he did a great job at it.. well he says so we take his word for it. But I never really thought about it before. How everyone in my family calls my gramps Flash or Uncle Flash. Its because he always had a camera in his hand. I guess it went down to my generation.

Ok that's enough rambling now LOL. I do want to say thank you to everyone for giving their well wishes and prayers for Ayden on his upcoming surgery. His surgery is in little over a week. I'm very nervous about it, but you all know this already. This will be his last surgery for his feet. I pray that it corrects them enough. Please everyone pray with me. I've recently been praying to my grams. I know that there isn't much she can do up in heaven but she's up there I know she is and she talks to the big guy up there. I miss her terribly. It was really hard yesterday going over there. Realizing that it will be a year on Monday since my grams passed away. Then today we passed the funeral home (which we haven't since that day) and it really hit home. I did take some pictures of her favorite little knick knacks that are still around the house. I seen my gramps showing pictures to Ayden yesterday that had Grams in there. I just wanted to cry so bad. And then realizing that Maddie and Lizzy don't remember her in Maddie's case and don't know her in lizzy's case. It broke my heart.

Its gonna be a rough day or so for me here coming up. I promise not to go away and hide like i so want too, but I might just run to my babies for the next couple of days.

I'm gonna end this, but we can't end it without a picture. DH took this picture of me yesterday after begging and pleading with him. I think he did pretty good. I used NDJane's grunge action on it then used a texture on top of that. So do I look cute or not? I hope everyone has a fantastic night and rest of the weekend.